October 2020

As the actress said to the bishop…

A race at Ascot in August commemorated Lillie Langtry (#1243 on the web family tree). We all know she was Edward VII’s mistress but did she also inspire the phrase “as the actress said to the bishop”? She and the Bishop of Worcester were admiring roses during a country house weekend, so the story goes, when he pricked himself. “How’s your prick?” she inquired at lunch. “Throbbing,” complained the bishop. The butler was so surprised he dropped the potatoes! 

Better to die in a brewery…

I feel no pain, dear mother, now

But oh! I am so dry!

O take me to a brewery,

And leave me there to die!


Better to collect Old Masters…

In later life if you want to take a mistress, choose somebody older

-better to please an old mistress than disappoint a young one.

Better to collect Old Masters than old mistresses

-when the time comes to part with them, they fetch more money!

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